His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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