the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
