i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
