My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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