She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
