...so i touched it.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
