my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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