I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
