Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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