Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
