I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
