It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
