i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
tell me about the fingering
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