Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
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