They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
