I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
