I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
