Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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