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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  wtf?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees

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• (516): View more from New York

  Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes

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• (207): View more from Maine

  i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  probs a good idea

  (207): View more from Maine

  i like the whole idea of life and being alive

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  you sure you're not high?

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Still. Make it happen

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• (954): View more from Florida

  Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it

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• (352): View more from Florida

  Ok so I need a recap of last night...

  (813): View more from Florida

  YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that

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