Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
