Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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