You can't special order awesome
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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