Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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