And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
