I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
...so i touched it.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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