It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
