Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
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I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
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what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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