I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
tell me about the fingering
Randomize