Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
handjob tips. give me some.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
