Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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