You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
