I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
