I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
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