i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
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high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize