Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
