Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
