I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
