And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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