You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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