chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
