You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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