Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
