Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
