My sheets look like a crime scene.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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