FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Slut skills are useful in every country.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I think my moral compass just broke
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
