Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
