You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You pole danced in your parka.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
