I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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