we have pet lesbian snakes
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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