I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
