Non-Jews are for practice
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
