If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
