i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
