just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Randomize