Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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