Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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