he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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