is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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