I like to think it a success when the cops are called
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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