Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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