i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just puked most of my soul out..
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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