if you like me you must not know who I am
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize