I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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